You Have The Power To Choose Not To Be Overwhelmed: You Are Capable Of Creating Your Own Peace

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with everything? One day you are fine, the sun is shining on your face, everything is under control and the next day, it’s like you are in a circus trying to juggle balls or balance several different plates that are spinning. Perhaps something came up that threw a monkey wrench in your plans and now you have to figure out how to make it work. Well recently that happened to me. My sister was in town visiting and one day my car started to stall. Me, realizing that maybe I needed an oil change woke up early Saturday morning before our hike and decided to get an oil change. But after that, the car still decided to stall when trying to start it. So I took it to my mechanic and rented a car. Heck, I thought to myself we have things to do this weekend and I don’t foresee taking an Uber all around town.

If I’m very honest, I think this is where my stress began. My plans were thrown off, even though my sister stressed that she isn’t on a time schedule. “Lets just go with the flow” is what she said. I created in my mind that it had to be a mind-blowing weekend because it’s rare that the three of us get to be together all at once. So here was unnecessary stress I was putting on myself. The need for things to be perfect for that weekend, also I started calculating the cost of this rental car. Heck I knew my company would cover a few days because I need my car for work, but who really want unnecessary expenses.

Tuesday rolls around and I’m told that whatever is going on with my car would cost some money; I mean big bucks I did not want to invest into a used vehicle. And on top of that, it may not fix the issue. It was considered step one. Immediately, I felt a shift in my mood and physical being. Heck what am I going to do? I don’t want to buy a new car, because I don’t want a car note, but I need a car, because my job requires me to visit my accounts, so I have to drive. Needless to say, that week was very stressful for me. Not only did I need to buy a car, but also in my mind I needed to buy it by the end of the week. Renting a car for over a week just didn’t make sense to me. But what kind of car would I get? I had no clue of what I was interested in, because I haven’t been looking. Searching for a car became a full time job. I couldn’t focus on work and I sure wasn’t focused on my wellbeing. A car was needed and I wasn’t going to stop until I got this car and then everything could return to normal.

During this time, I had a lot going on with work and my film I was working on. Things were getting done, but I didn’t feel present in the moment. My morning workouts and meal prep were not happening and I found myself operating on E (Empty). As I began to discuss my week with my coach, she posed a few questions to me that were valuable, but she also asked me, do you like operating like this. Of course I replied “no”, with a bit of an attitude and she simply said you could change your perception on this. Being overwhelmed is a choice. Of course I felt like someone gut punched me and I didn’t want to hear what she was saying. Of course I wasn’t choosing to be overwhelmed, the situation was what it was. Her response was of course it is, but your response to it is your choice. “What makes you operate from your full power Candice?” As we began to discuss this, I had already known that I was on empty and was trying to make things happen. So the sky seemed grey normally it’s very blue when I’m operating on full. Logically I know this, but sometimes when things come up unexpectedly, I abandon the principles that keep me grounded. Me working out in the morning, meal prepping, eating healthy, getting enough sleep- all of this allows me to operate on full. When I’m taking the time for myself, everything else I give to others is in the overflow, because I took care of myself first. When I was younger I didn’t quite understand why the flight attendants use to say in case of an emergency please place your mask over your face before your child. I thought, how rude, we need to help the babies. But as I got older I understood. If you don’t take care of your mask, you wouldn’t even get to the baby. As harsh as it may sound because young kids are so helpless you must take care of yourself first before you take care of the child. This rule also applies in everyday life. You must take care of yourself, before you even think to take care of others. I use to think by doing that, I was being selfish, but the older I get, I realize how after all these years I neglected my own needs. Sometimes what seems selfish to others is actually your practicing self-love. So I leave you with the question, what allows you to operate from full power and how do you practice self-love?